“Over the years I’ve been part of some truly terrible creative endeavours and have hence experienced this dynamic many, many times. In my twenties, I earned money to pay for my seasons by playing in a cover band that was, to put it kindly, a little rough around the edges. When I first started writing for magazines, I wrote some truly awful stuff that should never have seen the light of day. Later, when I sat down to try and learn how to write music myself, I composed (and performed in public) some proper stinkers. I’ve performed gigs that, when I recall them twenty years later, can make my insides shrivel up. I’ve written books that completely tanked. Released records that did absolutely nothing. And so on”.
The blog is really about why failing to live up to your own hopes and expectations comes with the territory when you embark upon any creative endeavour. What does it teach us? How can we learn to handle it with equanimity? And why is it an essential part of ‘learning to suck less’?
I'm not sure I agree with your self-diagnosis of "niavety" as a reason why you did or didn't do all five things. You tacitly admit that in each case it was more about artistic vision over grubby commercialism.
I get the impression that you and Owen were just up against that wobbly and ever shifting line between creative and commercial, and every time you both went 'nope' it looks better / reads better this way'. It's very rare that commercially-focused decisions are ever the best artisically.
I don't say this rudely, but being 'a creative' is just another way of saying being an artist who works for soemone else isn't it? If it's a true creative endeavour then it's art isn't it, and even great art rarely pays well. Perhaps the question you should ask each other is why did we really do this and what did we really want to get out of it? I bet the answer wouldn't be (and never was) money.
I wonder if either of you would have been so proud of the book if you'd done all five things differently?
I kept thinking of the quote from Keith Olsen the record producer. John McVie was concerned about the new direction that came with Lindsay Buckingham & Stevie Knicks.
“John McVie said to me, ‘You know we’re a blues band, this is really far away from the blues,’” Mr. Olsen recalled. “And I said, ‘I know, but it’s a lot closer to the bank.’”
Dec 12, 2022·edited Dec 12, 2022Liked by Matthew Barr
Something I’ve struggled with, is always caring what people think. And it’s taken me till almost age 40 to give less fucks, which has definitely helped me suck less.
From pitches to creative campaigns, and even my own LinkedIn and Instagram posts, the fear of being negatively judged always made me somewhat anxious when I put something out into the world, until very recently. Which on reflection, is quite silly, because those paranoid thoughts rarely come to fruition.
I still think we should be our own worst critics, but at the same time back ourselves. The journey to reach that self assuredness is undoubtedly a challenge though, but maybe only comes with age and getting a few wins under the belt.
And if it does all come crashing down for whatever reason, being able to get up and get on with it.
I'm an academic and theoretical physicist, so on paper a long way from being a creative! But so much of what you say about creativity resonates with the way I think about my research, that I hope it's ok if I comment here.
I think that if something is going to be your full time job then it needs to pay the bills (in my case doing research that gets funded). But if focusing on that takes you too far away from doing the things you love and work you're proud of, then you're going to be miserable and it's probably not worth it. I've always said that I was going to do the work I loved (with one eye on being able to spin it in a way that funders liked), and if I couldn't make it work then this career wasn't the right one for me.
The flip side of that is that it can be really hard to predict what will be popular/commercial/fundable in future. I got really lucky in that the niche thing I'd been doing for years suddenly got a much wider audience at a really critical point in my career. Without that I don't think I'd still be doing this today.
The overlap between the work we want to do and the work we'll get paid to do is sometimes small, and whether you can build a career there often depends on lots of things out of our control (or just dumb luck). Accepting that success is in many ways a lottery has been very helpful for me.
That’s so interesting and tbh is really true for my career. As I said in the original blog, that’s basically why I started the podcast, to have this creative safe space where I can do what I want without worrying about the commerce. Interesting that, almost inevitably, it has still filtered in. Thanks so much for the thought provoking comment 🙏
Essentially it comes down to enjoying the process and do it for the right reasons.
Nothing you do will be perfect in your eyes, get it as close to what you believe is perfect , throw it out into the world if you want or don't if you don't want. If people like it, amazing, if they don't (which of course some people won't ) then learn what you can from that and move on to the next thing. People will look or listen and what you have produced in a totally different way to how you perceive it. Of course as the creator you will see/hear all the flaws and imperfections but they could be the reason others like it.
We all start art, music, design becuase it interests us and we enjoy it, try and enjoy it and get excited about it. If that enjoyment /excitment diminishes have a break, it may or may not come back and if it doesn't , try something new.
I think the pressure people put on themselves for things to be perfect is very high, and in some ways it needs to be so that you do push yourself but it's still has to be fun and if it doesn't work out the way you want then learn from it and use that in the future. It's all a learning curve but essentially we have to want to do these things for the right reasons and enjoy it.
The rules change somewhat if you are doing it for a third party especially if it's financially driven but the fact that third party has chosen you in the first place means that they like what you do or your style so should be approached with the same attitude to some degree. As we know the third party usually gets a little to involved but unfortunately that's how things work. You can either fight that and lose the job or pander a little and get paid hahaha
Much of the above resonates with me in some way, eg. 'get started', 'make it for you' but anyway here’s my two penn’orth…
For me, the failures are cringe when looking back but thinking about why they failed is valuable as it helps your practice move on… and hopefully stops wasting your time on dull ideas or badly executed projects etc
Examining the ”successes” is also important in that way. If something is a success, it can be can tempting to try and repeat it, redo that winning formula and that is like the tail wagging the dog, doing something for the money or the clout instead of the pure creative need.
As a photographer, I think your best work should be your last work. Might sound harsh but if your best shot is even say two years old, time to reappraise imho.
Also, I think its okay (if annoying) to consider the audience around your creative output.
If you are trying to make work that affects things, it needs to be seen to have any impact. Finding your way to make work you love and can honestly stand by but that also get out there is the ideal I guess?
I think this is one reason I’ve found The Big Sea and your book so inspiring. I can see you stretching yourself and changing things up to push yourself. And they’re both bloody great as well. Creative sweet spot...
Cheers for the good vibes Matt, that support is appreciated.
I was trained up in a super competitive photographic dept, I was taught that u have to nail the 'safe' shot come hell or high water to keep the client/picture editor etc happy and get paid but also to give yourself a starting point to find something deeper.
That works for me and now I'm solo I try too keep disciplined in that to hopefully move things on.
I love this. I’ve also been thinking about why sometimes the creative process just sucks whether or not I’m trying to monetize something or doing it for the sole purpose of art, or a hybrid. Sometimes things just flow whether I’m trying to monetize or not, sometimes it’s a total slog, and other times I hit it out of the park without even trying and find my flow. But whether or not I’m trying to make money or not, lately I’m just trying to focus less on my attachment to the outcome and more on the joy or even bits of joy during the process. Ive found the creative path is rarely if ever linear.
For me, I've always struggled with 'identifying' as a creative just because I'm not necessarily artistic.
How much ego is involved in that statement, who knows 🤷🏻♂️
Acquaintances will often call me creative because of critical / strategic / analytical thinking with a bit of a design eye and because I'm an experienced digital writer too.
But because I've never really published much under a 'personal brand', nor really care to because that's just the way the commercials have worked out, it's helped me not suffer from those cliché struggling artist challenges.
The #1 learning for me has been to build rigid systems that make the shittier parts of being a creative so much easier, like...
- Research repositories
- Process workflows
- Energy / time management
- Mental training routines
- Environment setup
- Delegation etc.
I'm on top of my game when I don't have to constantly think about all the variable details and can just execute on a well researched and peer-reviewed plan of action. When the house is in order! Oh, and when I don't have many virtual meetings either!!
I think systems are so important. Random one but the Song Exploder with Rivers Cuomo was so fascinating. He keeps spreadsheets of ideas and fragments he uses to build his songs. The total opposite of the starving artist in the garret waiting for inspiration trope. Pure systems based creativity
There are no good things without the failures! They’re the evidence you’re trying!
These days I try not think too hard about when or why certain things I wrote or make connect with folk. Once I asked an improvisational musician how they manage their fear around the quality of the end product when they don’t yet know what it will be? They wisely told me they focus on being proud of the process. It’s excellent advice and was a total lightbulb moment for me. Now, I focus on the integrity and honesty of my process and decisions, and accept the reception of the work is beyond my control. It means the thing I made is true to the intention I had, whatever that might be. (And of course, I’m super stoked if it connects with folk.)
Like Clare, I’m a researcher so the work I do navigates rigorous, methodological, high-quality knowledge creation that has integrity, with projects that are externally perceived as “fundable”. Also like Clare, I’ve committed to an approach to this where I fully believe in the work I do but use the “fundable” requirement to think about why the work matters to relevant communities. This definitely links with the tension you highlight between creative vision and commercial viability, Matt. I don’t mind being accountable to the funding I get, but the idea that my research must past a “pub test” (a patriarchal idea) means I have to make really complex ideas to be convincing to an imagined sceptical or even hostile (blokey) audience whose money-holding opinions aren’t held to the same standards. A creativity death spiral.
At the same time, the requirement to write peer reviewed journal articles killed - absolutely killed!! - my confidence and courage in my writing to a public audience for a long time. Now I think about these different forms of writing etc in terms of genres that I wrote across, and it’s improved my writing overall. There is always something to learn.
I think a few people have said it here already, but worth repeating – it's just about trying. Trying to find the best creative solution, trying new mediums and styles, trying not to become a corporate tag-along. All the time you try (and are kind with good intentions), I think you're winning, probably improving, and most importantly, learning – the self-defeating thing is our expectations will never be fore-filled, we'll always look back and think we sucked to some degree – just gotta keep on tryin'.
Side-note: Jonathan Weaver's comment about finding your flow moments and protect them at all costs... 100%!
Side-side-note: I had to look up 'equanimity' – thank you – that's my new favourite word for today.
Lately I've been watching WSL CT replays while working in a lab (because I'm learning a new procedure that was getting me so stressed that I needed something to ground me), and I feel like I had a new epiphany with seeing how emotional the surfers when they lost or were cut mid-season. It made me think about how creatives get told that rejection happens and we shouldn't "take it personally", but when you put your heart and soul into something, you are going to feel bad when you lose or are rejected. Of course, you can't breakdown with every rejection, but even the creative world, which is supposed to be more "emotional" than STEM or other fields, is forcing people to suppress our feelings. I'm learning to acknowledge my feelings so that it doesn't eat me up, and after crying or ranting out of frustration, get int the headspace to see if what I created needs improvement or just wasn't a good fit.
The less experience you have, the more failure will hit you. But failure in most cases should be called learning. Failure is a good thing in most cases. By failing, you’ve experienced being out of your comfort zone, you’ve tried something and you’ve learned from it, wether you like it or not. Wether you or anyone else deemed it a success.
I’ve often lost pitches and heard people on my team say, ‘the pitch that won is really shit or boring’. But it won the pitch for a reason. It ticked boxes for someone in a certain way that you couldn’t have predicted, and fulfilled their needs. It doesn’t mean your pitch was rubbish, just not right in this instance. It’s all part of the journey and you’re constantly learning whilst on it.
Our good mutual friend once told us ‘It takes 10 years to make an over night success’, I bet if you asked him to expand on that he would say ‘We failed, learned, pivoted, rewrote, tried again, thickened our skin, experienced more, failed again, won small victories, matured, got it slightly wrong, tried again, thought we’d nailed it, almost did, refined it, finally succeeded.’
I'm not sure I agree with your self-diagnosis of "niavety" as a reason why you did or didn't do all five things. You tacitly admit that in each case it was more about artistic vision over grubby commercialism.
I get the impression that you and Owen were just up against that wobbly and ever shifting line between creative and commercial, and every time you both went 'nope' it looks better / reads better this way'. It's very rare that commercially-focused decisions are ever the best artisically.
I don't say this rudely, but being 'a creative' is just another way of saying being an artist who works for soemone else isn't it? If it's a true creative endeavour then it's art isn't it, and even great art rarely pays well. Perhaps the question you should ask each other is why did we really do this and what did we really want to get out of it? I bet the answer wouldn't be (and never was) money.
I wonder if either of you would have been so proud of the book if you'd done all five things differently?
Thanks for the really thoughtful comment Tim, and yes I think you’re right. Love to hear any learnings you have from your own creative experiences
I feel a blog post coming on.
I kept thinking of the quote from Keith Olsen the record producer. John McVie was concerned about the new direction that came with Lindsay Buckingham & Stevie Knicks.
“John McVie said to me, ‘You know we’re a blues band, this is really far away from the blues,’” Mr. Olsen recalled. “And I said, ‘I know, but it’s a lot closer to the bank.’”
Great blog, I think for me the few things I've learnt about creativity :
1. make it as if it's only for you. don't worry what people will think.
2. get started.
3. find your flow moments. for me its 6-8am. protect those moments at all cost.
Theres more, but thats probably the 3 I would start with.
Number 3 is a killer for sure. It’s what I think Brian Eno was getting at with that ‘if in doubt tidy the studio’ line
Something I’ve struggled with, is always caring what people think. And it’s taken me till almost age 40 to give less fucks, which has definitely helped me suck less.
From pitches to creative campaigns, and even my own LinkedIn and Instagram posts, the fear of being negatively judged always made me somewhat anxious when I put something out into the world, until very recently. Which on reflection, is quite silly, because those paranoid thoughts rarely come to fruition.
I still think we should be our own worst critics, but at the same time back ourselves. The journey to reach that self assuredness is undoubtedly a challenge though, but maybe only comes with age and getting a few wins under the belt.
And if it does all come crashing down for whatever reason, being able to get up and get on with it.
Totally hear you. The irony is it’s only when you stop worrying about this that you make anything decent 🤷♀️
I was going to say exactly the same about giving less of a fuck. It's helps tremendously. Your own gratification has to come first
I'm an academic and theoretical physicist, so on paper a long way from being a creative! But so much of what you say about creativity resonates with the way I think about my research, that I hope it's ok if I comment here.
I think that if something is going to be your full time job then it needs to pay the bills (in my case doing research that gets funded). But if focusing on that takes you too far away from doing the things you love and work you're proud of, then you're going to be miserable and it's probably not worth it. I've always said that I was going to do the work I loved (with one eye on being able to spin it in a way that funders liked), and if I couldn't make it work then this career wasn't the right one for me.
The flip side of that is that it can be really hard to predict what will be popular/commercial/fundable in future. I got really lucky in that the niche thing I'd been doing for years suddenly got a much wider audience at a really critical point in my career. Without that I don't think I'd still be doing this today.
The overlap between the work we want to do and the work we'll get paid to do is sometimes small, and whether you can build a career there often depends on lots of things out of our control (or just dumb luck). Accepting that success is in many ways a lottery has been very helpful for me.
That’s so interesting and tbh is really true for my career. As I said in the original blog, that’s basically why I started the podcast, to have this creative safe space where I can do what I want without worrying about the commerce. Interesting that, almost inevitably, it has still filtered in. Thanks so much for the thought provoking comment 🙏
I wrote a big comment and then it deleted.
Essentially it comes down to enjoying the process and do it for the right reasons.
Nothing you do will be perfect in your eyes, get it as close to what you believe is perfect , throw it out into the world if you want or don't if you don't want. If people like it, amazing, if they don't (which of course some people won't ) then learn what you can from that and move on to the next thing. People will look or listen and what you have produced in a totally different way to how you perceive it. Of course as the creator you will see/hear all the flaws and imperfections but they could be the reason others like it.
We all start art, music, design becuase it interests us and we enjoy it, try and enjoy it and get excited about it. If that enjoyment /excitment diminishes have a break, it may or may not come back and if it doesn't , try something new.
I think the pressure people put on themselves for things to be perfect is very high, and in some ways it needs to be so that you do push yourself but it's still has to be fun and if it doesn't work out the way you want then learn from it and use that in the future. It's all a learning curve but essentially we have to want to do these things for the right reasons and enjoy it.
The rules change somewhat if you are doing it for a third party especially if it's financially driven but the fact that third party has chosen you in the first place means that they like what you do or your style so should be approached with the same attitude to some degree. As we know the third party usually gets a little to involved but unfortunately that's how things work. You can either fight that and lose the job or pander a little and get paid hahaha
Ha ha yes brother. And bloody hell music is the ultimate proving ground for all this eh?
Much of the above resonates with me in some way, eg. 'get started', 'make it for you' but anyway here’s my two penn’orth…
For me, the failures are cringe when looking back but thinking about why they failed is valuable as it helps your practice move on… and hopefully stops wasting your time on dull ideas or badly executed projects etc
Examining the ”successes” is also important in that way. If something is a success, it can be can tempting to try and repeat it, redo that winning formula and that is like the tail wagging the dog, doing something for the money or the clout instead of the pure creative need.
As a photographer, I think your best work should be your last work. Might sound harsh but if your best shot is even say two years old, time to reappraise imho.
Also, I think its okay (if annoying) to consider the audience around your creative output.
If you are trying to make work that affects things, it needs to be seen to have any impact. Finding your way to make work you love and can honestly stand by but that also get out there is the ideal I guess?
I think this is one reason I’ve found The Big Sea and your book so inspiring. I can see you stretching yourself and changing things up to push yourself. And they’re both bloody great as well. Creative sweet spot...
Cheers for the good vibes Matt, that support is appreciated.
I was trained up in a super competitive photographic dept, I was taught that u have to nail the 'safe' shot come hell or high water to keep the client/picture editor etc happy and get paid but also to give yourself a starting point to find something deeper.
That works for me and now I'm solo I try too keep disciplined in that to hopefully move things on.
I love this. I’ve also been thinking about why sometimes the creative process just sucks whether or not I’m trying to monetize something or doing it for the sole purpose of art, or a hybrid. Sometimes things just flow whether I’m trying to monetize or not, sometimes it’s a total slog, and other times I hit it out of the park without even trying and find my flow. But whether or not I’m trying to make money or not, lately I’m just trying to focus less on my attachment to the outcome and more on the joy or even bits of joy during the process. Ive found the creative path is rarely if ever linear.
Totally hear all the Shelby
More of these open threads please Matt!
For me, I've always struggled with 'identifying' as a creative just because I'm not necessarily artistic.
How much ego is involved in that statement, who knows 🤷🏻♂️
Acquaintances will often call me creative because of critical / strategic / analytical thinking with a bit of a design eye and because I'm an experienced digital writer too.
But because I've never really published much under a 'personal brand', nor really care to because that's just the way the commercials have worked out, it's helped me not suffer from those cliché struggling artist challenges.
The #1 learning for me has been to build rigid systems that make the shittier parts of being a creative so much easier, like...
- Research repositories
- Process workflows
- Energy / time management
- Mental training routines
- Environment setup
- Delegation etc.
I'm on top of my game when I don't have to constantly think about all the variable details and can just execute on a well researched and peer-reviewed plan of action. When the house is in order! Oh, and when I don't have many virtual meetings either!!
I think systems are so important. Random one but the Song Exploder with Rivers Cuomo was so fascinating. He keeps spreadsheets of ideas and fragments he uses to build his songs. The total opposite of the starving artist in the garret waiting for inspiration trope. Pure systems based creativity
There are no good things without the failures! They’re the evidence you’re trying!
These days I try not think too hard about when or why certain things I wrote or make connect with folk. Once I asked an improvisational musician how they manage their fear around the quality of the end product when they don’t yet know what it will be? They wisely told me they focus on being proud of the process. It’s excellent advice and was a total lightbulb moment for me. Now, I focus on the integrity and honesty of my process and decisions, and accept the reception of the work is beyond my control. It means the thing I made is true to the intention I had, whatever that might be. (And of course, I’m super stoked if it connects with folk.)
Like Clare, I’m a researcher so the work I do navigates rigorous, methodological, high-quality knowledge creation that has integrity, with projects that are externally perceived as “fundable”. Also like Clare, I’ve committed to an approach to this where I fully believe in the work I do but use the “fundable” requirement to think about why the work matters to relevant communities. This definitely links with the tension you highlight between creative vision and commercial viability, Matt. I don’t mind being accountable to the funding I get, but the idea that my research must past a “pub test” (a patriarchal idea) means I have to make really complex ideas to be convincing to an imagined sceptical or even hostile (blokey) audience whose money-holding opinions aren’t held to the same standards. A creativity death spiral.
At the same time, the requirement to write peer reviewed journal articles killed - absolutely killed!! - my confidence and courage in my writing to a public audience for a long time. Now I think about these different forms of writing etc in terms of genres that I wrote across, and it’s improved my writing overall. There is always something to learn.
I think a few people have said it here already, but worth repeating – it's just about trying. Trying to find the best creative solution, trying new mediums and styles, trying not to become a corporate tag-along. All the time you try (and are kind with good intentions), I think you're winning, probably improving, and most importantly, learning – the self-defeating thing is our expectations will never be fore-filled, we'll always look back and think we sucked to some degree – just gotta keep on tryin'.
Side-note: Jonathan Weaver's comment about finding your flow moments and protect them at all costs... 100%!
Side-side-note: I had to look up 'equanimity' – thank you – that's my new favourite word for today.
This is such a great summary. And pretty much a manifesto tbh
https://youtu.be/A-T2a0OE9cA
Lately I've been watching WSL CT replays while working in a lab (because I'm learning a new procedure that was getting me so stressed that I needed something to ground me), and I feel like I had a new epiphany with seeing how emotional the surfers when they lost or were cut mid-season. It made me think about how creatives get told that rejection happens and we shouldn't "take it personally", but when you put your heart and soul into something, you are going to feel bad when you lose or are rejected. Of course, you can't breakdown with every rejection, but even the creative world, which is supposed to be more "emotional" than STEM or other fields, is forcing people to suppress our feelings. I'm learning to acknowledge my feelings so that it doesn't eat me up, and after crying or ranting out of frustration, get int the headspace to see if what I created needs improvement or just wasn't a good fit.
The less experience you have, the more failure will hit you. But failure in most cases should be called learning. Failure is a good thing in most cases. By failing, you’ve experienced being out of your comfort zone, you’ve tried something and you’ve learned from it, wether you like it or not. Wether you or anyone else deemed it a success.
I’ve often lost pitches and heard people on my team say, ‘the pitch that won is really shit or boring’. But it won the pitch for a reason. It ticked boxes for someone in a certain way that you couldn’t have predicted, and fulfilled their needs. It doesn’t mean your pitch was rubbish, just not right in this instance. It’s all part of the journey and you’re constantly learning whilst on it.
Our good mutual friend once told us ‘It takes 10 years to make an over night success’, I bet if you asked him to expand on that he would say ‘We failed, learned, pivoted, rewrote, tried again, thickened our skin, experienced more, failed again, won small victories, matured, got it slightly wrong, tried again, thought we’d nailed it, almost did, refined it, finally succeeded.’
Embrace the journey!