Critical feedback on any work is essential for it to develop in ways that strengthen it and sometimes take it in a direction you weren't expecting. Academia is built on this very process - giving and receiving constant feedback - and we get (often anonymous) feedback everyday on our ideas, writing, and applications. And I think it gets easier to deal with, but mostly, like you say, you need a tactic to manage how emotional it can be. Mine is take at least 48 hours to process feedback before even starting to respond to it. Of course... I fail at that all the time because sometimes the feedback-giver is making it personal (hello, anonymous reviewers) and other times it's because it's a bit brutal. So as well as learning how to mange receiving feedback, it's also good to learn how to reflect on it, and when it's okay to reject it. There are times when I've ignored or pushed back on feedback because it conflicts with other feedback or because I knew in my guts that I was right. There are so few times when I've felt that way, but when I have it's been for the best. Feedback is feedback; take it or leave it. But you're right to say its always valuable to take time to think deeply about it.
Oh! One other thing to learn to do is to give feedback well - to review the thing in front of you on it's own terms, not in terms of how you would have done it if you'd had the chance, and to do that with some care for the person receiving it. It's hard to know how to help things emerge in their best version, but that's the task of a reviewer.
Receiving feedback is a gift, and delivering it is a responsibility. Nice post, Matt, and mega congrats on almost launching this big piece of work. Can't wait to listen to it!
What you describe is exactly why I think that 'taking feedback' is a skill can be learned, like anything else. Ultimately you might as well accept as a legit part of the process, and work out a way of dealing with it that works for you.
And I couldn't agree more with the 'giving feedback well' point. Not getting back to somebody who has shared an important piece of work with you - even if it's just to acknowledge and say you're too busy to give it the due care and attention it warrants - really is a red card offence.
Thanks for this really thought provoking piece Matt. I think my response to feedback is definitely affected by whether it’s something I’ve asked for or it’s unsolicited - and also who it comes from…! I know that fear of feeling like my work is not ‘good enough’ can be a real barrier to seeking feedback in the first place and that’s something I need to work on.
I changed my mind quite recently, on a Christmas project I was planning to release as a double A-sided single even though no-one younger than me would know what that used to mean :D
The project was fully formed in my head, but when it came to planning out the actual doing of it, and how it might land, and how I would talk about it when it was ready to share, I had to swallow my ego and talk myself out of one of the tracks as I realised it was only really meaningful to me. It was an instrumental version of a niche Christmas song where the important thing about the song (as in most cases) is the lyrics.
That's no reason not to record and/or perform it at some point, but to go to all the effort of releasing it would have been (for me) time consuming and expensive for it not to land as I'd hoped.
It made me realise how far I've come on my creative journey, and how much more I think about things when I get stuck into a project. I'm still learning, but when I went through that thought process I thought about all the coaching and mentoring I'd had over the years, and all the voices I was hearing as part of that decision process, and how I was able to consider all of that in the context of what I wanted. And I did not regret one single penny of everything I've spent on that in the past!
“Feedback is the breakfast of champions” (Ken Blanchard). Treat giving and receiving FEEDBACK as a G.I.F.T: Giving Information for Fine Tuning. You might not always like it but in all cases you thank the giver, you unpack it, you can decide whether to keep it….
When did I last change my mind? When I thought I shouldn't post a comment here.
I am quite stubborn about some things, but I have my mind / opinion changed really easily. I am a sucker for a well argued point. But I avoid criticism at all costs. Mea culpa, I want to be seen as right. Don't we all?
So at what point does feedback become criticism? Why is the former seen as generally positive and educational and the latter negative and destructive? I liked that Rebecca opened the comments using the two together as "critical feedback" which might even be a third kind of thing. Is the difference just about the intent of why comments are being made or the tone of how they are delivered?
I suspect that how well we take feedback - and how constructive it is to our work and our likelihood of changing our minds - is mostly to do with expectation. Have you asked for it or is it unsolicited? And is it coming from an respected voice or just some guy on the internet?
You asked for feedback on The Announcement doc only from trusted and respected friends, but you open up you Insta and Substack posts to every angry GOTI. How often do you change your work or mind because of the latter? And why should you? And do you?
As relatively new Teaching Fellow at a University I have had to learn how to give feedback that will change minds, and it's not easy to be dispassionately critical and constructive. It is mostly a variation of the s**t sandwich: here's what you did well, here are the areas for improvement, and here's how you can improve. You can't say "I didn't like it" and "I disagree with you" has to come with well referenced evidence.
My apologies that this comment became an essay, but to finish near the start, if feedback is kind, constructive, lucid and well reasoned, it will almost definitely change my mind.
Critical feedback on any work is essential for it to develop in ways that strengthen it and sometimes take it in a direction you weren't expecting. Academia is built on this very process - giving and receiving constant feedback - and we get (often anonymous) feedback everyday on our ideas, writing, and applications. And I think it gets easier to deal with, but mostly, like you say, you need a tactic to manage how emotional it can be. Mine is take at least 48 hours to process feedback before even starting to respond to it. Of course... I fail at that all the time because sometimes the feedback-giver is making it personal (hello, anonymous reviewers) and other times it's because it's a bit brutal. So as well as learning how to mange receiving feedback, it's also good to learn how to reflect on it, and when it's okay to reject it. There are times when I've ignored or pushed back on feedback because it conflicts with other feedback or because I knew in my guts that I was right. There are so few times when I've felt that way, but when I have it's been for the best. Feedback is feedback; take it or leave it. But you're right to say its always valuable to take time to think deeply about it.
Oh! One other thing to learn to do is to give feedback well - to review the thing in front of you on it's own terms, not in terms of how you would have done it if you'd had the chance, and to do that with some care for the person receiving it. It's hard to know how to help things emerge in their best version, but that's the task of a reviewer.
Receiving feedback is a gift, and delivering it is a responsibility. Nice post, Matt, and mega congrats on almost launching this big piece of work. Can't wait to listen to it!
What you describe is exactly why I think that 'taking feedback' is a skill can be learned, like anything else. Ultimately you might as well accept as a legit part of the process, and work out a way of dealing with it that works for you.
And I couldn't agree more with the 'giving feedback well' point. Not getting back to somebody who has shared an important piece of work with you - even if it's just to acknowledge and say you're too busy to give it the due care and attention it warrants - really is a red card offence.
Thanks for this really thought provoking piece Matt. I think my response to feedback is definitely affected by whether it’s something I’ve asked for or it’s unsolicited - and also who it comes from…! I know that fear of feeling like my work is not ‘good enough’ can be a real barrier to seeking feedback in the first place and that’s something I need to work on.
Thanks Abby, and hopefully it was useful food for thought.
I changed my mind quite recently, on a Christmas project I was planning to release as a double A-sided single even though no-one younger than me would know what that used to mean :D
The project was fully formed in my head, but when it came to planning out the actual doing of it, and how it might land, and how I would talk about it when it was ready to share, I had to swallow my ego and talk myself out of one of the tracks as I realised it was only really meaningful to me. It was an instrumental version of a niche Christmas song where the important thing about the song (as in most cases) is the lyrics.
That's no reason not to record and/or perform it at some point, but to go to all the effort of releasing it would have been (for me) time consuming and expensive for it not to land as I'd hoped.
It made me realise how far I've come on my creative journey, and how much more I think about things when I get stuck into a project. I'm still learning, but when I went through that thought process I thought about all the coaching and mentoring I'd had over the years, and all the voices I was hearing as part of that decision process, and how I was able to consider all of that in the context of what I wanted. And I did not regret one single penny of everything I've spent on that in the past!
“Feedback is the breakfast of champions” (Ken Blanchard). Treat giving and receiving FEEDBACK as a G.I.F.T: Giving Information for Fine Tuning. You might not always like it but in all cases you thank the giver, you unpack it, you can decide whether to keep it….
When did I last change my mind? When I thought I shouldn't post a comment here.
I am quite stubborn about some things, but I have my mind / opinion changed really easily. I am a sucker for a well argued point. But I avoid criticism at all costs. Mea culpa, I want to be seen as right. Don't we all?
So at what point does feedback become criticism? Why is the former seen as generally positive and educational and the latter negative and destructive? I liked that Rebecca opened the comments using the two together as "critical feedback" which might even be a third kind of thing. Is the difference just about the intent of why comments are being made or the tone of how they are delivered?
I suspect that how well we take feedback - and how constructive it is to our work and our likelihood of changing our minds - is mostly to do with expectation. Have you asked for it or is it unsolicited? And is it coming from an respected voice or just some guy on the internet?
You asked for feedback on The Announcement doc only from trusted and respected friends, but you open up you Insta and Substack posts to every angry GOTI. How often do you change your work or mind because of the latter? And why should you? And do you?
As relatively new Teaching Fellow at a University I have had to learn how to give feedback that will change minds, and it's not easy to be dispassionately critical and constructive. It is mostly a variation of the s**t sandwich: here's what you did well, here are the areas for improvement, and here's how you can improve. You can't say "I didn't like it" and "I disagree with you" has to come with well referenced evidence.
My apologies that this comment became an essay, but to finish near the start, if feedback is kind, constructive, lucid and well reasoned, it will almost definitely change my mind.